Welcome back to Songs of Tess! Hopefully this isn’t your first one, because explaining my own process is difficult, but essentially I’ll recommend songs (usually bad ones) in the vain hope someone, somewhere will get it.

These five songs I’ve pulled from my “CHEER UP” mix, which… may NOT cheer you up, but it was a mix I compiled for family car rides. Still explicit songs, because censorship is taken very seriously in my house (i.e. THERE IS NONE), but hopefully they’ll make you cheery or at least in a place to joke about my terrible taste.

Pretty Boy by poutyface

It’s kind of hard to describe poutyface‘s genre, other than “hard pop”, but the lyrics in this song alone will have you ignoring the almost too hard-beat of the song, and might make you laugh, if you also want testosterone to leave you alone.

Just a Little Bit by Kids of 88

If you were an unfortunate Teen Wolf fan — don’t worry, I was there for 3 1/2 seasons, I understand your pain — this song will sound familiar, but even if you haven’t, it’s kind of a nice little upbeat song about sex, basically. I love Kids of 88, and picking a song is difficult, so I chose a popular one to rid myself of the tragedy of choosing.

Sugar Daddy by Qveen Herby

So apparently Qveen Herby was in a band with her husband, and decided on a solo act (also backed by her husband), and honestly? Her solo work snaps. She’s a great singer, and dare I say, maybe a better rapper? Speed, diction, rhyming are all in play in most of her rap-led songs. I chose Sugar Daddy simply for the well-sung beginning about never minding what she had to do for her diamonds.

Burnin’ Up by Judas Priest

I always have an outlier on my list, and here’s today’s! There are a lot of Judas Priest songs I could have chosen, but I like the classical guitar solo midway through the song, and who can resist the vocal range of Rob Halford?

People I Don’t Like by UPSAHL

I normally wouldn’t recommend a song about not liking people — much less listen to it — but UHSAHL has a way with words to match the the subtle music we don’t get with poutyface and Kids of 88. In a sea of a lot of younger women making music (no complaints, I need a emlyn album stat), UPSAHL stands out, particularly her work on her Lady Jesus album.