I know I have probably blogged about this prior, maybe written it in a memoir in a past life, but: not being able to smell while sick sucks!!!!!
It’s small potatoes, in the grand scheme of things, but if I can’t smell, who I am? [stares off into the distance]
Posted on March 10th, 2025
What makes you feel older? The need for a mouth guard, or the the need to keep track of each stimulant, drug, or sugar content of that one kombucha? Or is it just both, and I’m one of many in denial?
Posted on January 17th, 2025
There’s lonely and then there’s lonely; hurting yourself differentiates one from the other. I’m so glad my parents taught me the difference.
Posted on August 27th, 2024
I want so badly to not care about my body, regardless of size. Wanting and actualizing are two different things, and I have the hardest time regulating my response to my body size. If I’m big, I hate my waist size, but when I’m small, I miss the size of my ass. I hate the […]
Posted on July 16th, 2024
My text messages tend to be more unhinged than what I would ever reveal in person. I feel safe behind text only then; the lack of context, voice tenure, and attitude help me separate the me that thinks those things, and the me that doesn’t mean them.
My favourite one this week was to my Mom, and read, “I’ll have my last will and testament for dinner”, in direct response to her question of (you guessed it) dinner content. TL;DR chronic pain sucks. ♥
Posted on April 27th, 2024
When I decided to officially stop trying to come back from “medical leave” — I live in the US, so basically being unpaid to be sick :’) — it was the best decision I had made in six years. It was a hard decision, and it hurt me to make it, but in hindsight, I […]
Posted on March 12th, 2024
I get a new laptop — and by new, I mean refurbished at a cheaper price, because chronic pain doesn’t pay bills — and it’s red only the top. I’ve named it Arthur for reasons known to one very important person. Love you, C. – XOXO, A
Posted on February 27th, 2024
I was able to pull my carcass up and make a new theme — I prefer to make themes months ahead of time, but maybe 3 themes on standby is too many? — and BOY DO I REGRET THAT. Couldn’t type worth a shit, had to copy+paste everything, and it ended up being ten times harder. Do not recommend and *claps hands* stay in bed.
Posted on August 16th, 2023
I’m in so much pain, but I’ve accomplished a lot despite it. Am I proud of myself? Can’t tell, I’ve reached the “can’t feel emotion” intersection between “probable emergency I’ll ignore” to “I know I prayed for this before, but please don’t kill me in my sleep”.
Posted on August 14th, 2023
I was really angry the last time I blogged — I even cried afterwards with my door closed, because I didn’t want to upset my niece or worry anyone — and it did help to express some of the anger I still battle with. But I also looked at it later and realised that while […]
Posted on July 31st, 2023
And by “bad” I mean “really fucking awful” but I don’t want to come off as less than hubristic. At least in concerns to my pain, and not the day in general. I feel like it should be said that I’m on my period, despite not being emotionally affected by them. I have never, in […]
Posted on July 27th, 2023
I was thinking of affirmations I could create myself, but all I’ve come up with is. “Life is hard, but so is his dick #getit” 😔
Posted on July 20th, 2023
