I know I have probably blogged about this prior, maybe written it in a memoir in a past life, but: not being able to smell while sick sucks!!!!!
It’s small potatoes, in the grand scheme of things, but if I can’t smell, who I am? [stares off into the distance]
Posted on March 10th, 2025
What makes you feel older? The need for a mouth guard, or the the need to keep track of each stimulant, drug, or sugar content of that one kombucha? Or is it just both, and I’m one of many in denial?
Posted on January 17th, 2025
There’s lonely and then there’s lonely; hurting yourself differentiates one from the other. I’m so glad my parents taught me the difference.
Posted on August 27th, 2024
I want so badly to not care about my body, regardless of size. Wanting and actualizing are two different things, and I have the hardest time regulating my response to my body size. If I’m big, I hate my waist size, but when I’m small, I miss the size of my ass. I hate the […]
Posted on July 16th, 2024
My text messages tend to be more unhinged than what I would ever reveal in person. I feel safe behind text only then; the lack of context, voice tenure, and attitude help me separate the me that thinks those things, and the me that doesn’t mean them.
My favourite one this week was to my Mom, and read, “I’ll have my last will and testament for dinner”, in direct response to her question of (you guessed it) dinner content. TL;DR chronic pain sucks. ♥
Posted on April 27th, 2024
I was really angry the last time I blogged — I even cried afterwards with my door closed, because I didn’t want to upset my niece or worry anyone — and it did help to express some of the anger I still battle with. But I also looked at it later and realised that while […]
Posted on July 31st, 2023
And by “bad” I mean “really fucking awful” but I don’t want to come off as less than hubristic. At least in concerns to my pain, and not the day in general. I feel like it should be said that I’m on my period, despite not being emotionally affected by them. I have never, in […]
Posted on July 27th, 2023
I was thinking of affirmations I could create myself, but all I’ve come up with is. “Life is hard, but so is his dick #getit” 😔
Posted on July 20th, 2023
My Mom bought me two Astrology books, with one proceeding to roast the fuck out of me and my sister. Holy fuck.
Posted on June 24th, 2023
I caught sight of my eyes in the mirror last Saturday. “Wow,” I thought, “you finally look like how you feel” and moved on. It’s only now, on the following Tuesday, that it wasn’t my pain putting dark circles under my eyes. It wasn’t my depression that seems to hit when no one is around, […]
Posted on June 20th, 2023
At the ripe age of 33, I decided to do dating sites (with a lot of help from my sister). I mostly went on for two things: 1) the gratification when someone likes me and b) maybe make some friends? So far only #1 has worked — #2 has been harder. There are so many […]
Posted on June 13th, 2023
Continuing my Just a Minute… series. Reading… Honestly, not a lot! With how much coding I’m doing, it’s been hard to settle into anything relaxing. Also, considering I’m working on a rec site for fanworks, reading fanfiction (my go-to) has lost it’s shine thus far. Listening… I have been obsessed with rock music, lately. Probably […]
Posted on May 24th, 2023
I love my mother. I love my mother’s flaws, I love my mother’s quirks, I love my mother. I love my mother, but sometimes I wonder if I got my sadness and loneliness from her. I’ve seen her draw attention and befriend anyone in a way that’ll always be foreign for me. My mother probably […]
Posted on May 10th, 2023
