My Mantra, But Basically "New Layout!"
So, yeah, Mayumi » is blogging. ON THE SAME DAY AS ME. Wonder of wonders! She's also blogging about her Lady Gaga concert adventures, and considering my love for Lady Gaga, that's just a win for me.
Point: let's go down the “Tess' stories are so boring, but they eventually have an ending, so I'll suffer” road!
I have a mantra, one that's been with me since 2005. It's from an ex-friend – long story short my family fell out with her family, so we all no longer talk – and more specifically her mother. I try to take out the best of each relationship I no longer have, no matter how badly it ended, and this is no different. Despite our movie night watching From Paris With Love1, her cooking with my Mom and helping her move, one thing has stuck with me. Whenever she'd tell me to do something, like with my websites, I'd always go, “I'll try” and every time she'd look me straight in the eyes and say, “Don't try, just do it”.
I have taken that everywhere with me, and have lived by it since. Everything I've accomplished online has been because I do it, not because I try; I've learned PHP, MySQL and JavaScript, have pushed my graphic boundaries, all by doing it, not trying to do it. Not every layout I've mine has been a hit, but it's been something I did, something I tried out, something I learned from. I've done everything I've ever done by sheer will2.
In May 2010, I broke my rule.
Some things were said to me, and it upset me, so much so I lost all confidence in my ability. I know where my talent lies, know I'm fantastical at valid HTML and CSS, know I'm happiest decoding PHP and making MySQL build me a damn tag cloud for my blog. I know what I can do in my graphics program, know I know a lot more than I exhibit. I know all this and more, and I just… lost it. Everything I made I trashed, all designs I made in that one and a half month timeframe was trashed, and if I couldn't trash it, I've been mourning each design I've had to put up. It extended to my writing, and my photography, and suddenly I got redfaced – this could have honestly been from the heat as I was outside, but it's the heat of the moment, let's pretend~! – and realised that, faults aside, I was good at something, and damnit, I wasn't going to trash another design because of what someone else said!
The new layout, which you see now, was created as a… something. I don't know quite what I was doing in Photoshop, only that it started out with my chandelier, and ended with something revolving around red. It's not perfect, not in any way graphically challenging, will probably never see a CSS gallery to save it's life… but I'm proud of it. It's mine, and I've implemented some ~subtle~ coding changes for you all to stumble upon and be like, “OMG FINALLY TESS, YOUR SCRIPT IS SO 2001 AND DECREPIT /SOB”.
So take this weird happening for a lesson: keep “doing” what you're doing. Don't let someone else rain on your parade, and keep doing what you're doing, whether that's designing (web, interior, clothing, you name it!) or even cooking! Also, just a tip: don't listen to Pussycat Dolls when you're writing a “serious” blog entry – it quite ruins the mood when you hear, “[…] trying to get with me, trying to ha-ha-ha-ha […]” – or when Christina » sends you photos of Bradley James and Colin Morgan, and your brain goes blank from explosion, and stars are in your eyes, and you go back to your entry and almost try to delete it, because your mind doesn't add up with what you're typing. Then again, it's me.
And, as a cheery note, I actually made a design someone else is using. I showed the two latter people I linked – I'm lazy – this design, and when I told Mayumi I'd be trashing the design, she nabbed it instead »… and someone is using my design! It's red, too, but the JavaScript updates and footer are my favourite parts. Ah, the simple things. *all smiley*
- « Or something, the movie was about some couple travelling to (or from) Rome or Paris, or some “romantic” city; we were too busy talking for me to really pay attention.
- « EXCEPT FOR THAT GODDAMN AMAZON API.
Posted: July 13, 2010
Listed Under: General, Online, Real Life, Site Changes
Tags: new layout, online, site updates, websites
Christina
July 13, 2010 · Permalink
First off, I don't know why you almost trashed the red layout Michelle is using now, because I LOVED that layout. But who am I to say anything? LOL. I can't change your mind. I can only say that I love it.
AND WHO SAID SOMETHING TO YOU IN MAY 2010 THAT ALMOST DESTROYED YOU? Obviously you are keeping things from me.
ALSO, I LOVE THIS LAYOUT. ALL YOUR LAYOUTS ARE AWESOME. AND YOU KNOW IT. If I had HALF of your talent, I would be a happy person. You talented woman, you!