And life goes on!

By Tess » January 10th, 2009

My posts always take on a sort of story-telling adventure, and it's always to put off something else more important, but I'm going to give it to you blunt and forcefully:

My Grandma is in the hospital and is teetering on the edge of insanity (i.e. coming down from alcohol and cigarettes while hooked to a million IVs to build up her nutrition), and my Uncle tried (and thankfully failed) to commit suicide.

…I guess you can say it's been a rough start to a new year. Instead of dwelling on the "what ifs", I've thrown myself into life and have been trying to hold on. This has been going on for quite some time, but I'm a private person; I don't just mention <em> anything</em>, and I'm very close-mouthed to begin with. Which, of course, leads me to yet another statement: I'll continue to remain close-mouthed about it. I don't get a lot of visitors, but even so, I feel this is a matter better kept private, but dully noted anyway.

I can't say this experience hasn't taught me quite a bit about myself, however. Despite my disorder, I've never likened to the thought of suicide, but this experience has <em>really</em> opened my eyes to what I really feel: I want to live. I've known this yesterday, and I'll know it tomorrow, but my main goal is to live my life to the best of my ability. I'm not going to bungee jump, or go on crusades to save plant life, but I will be looking at things in a much different perspective…hopefully. 😀