I suppose my feel-good mood that's lasted three months (good God – has it been THAT long?!) has to come to end at some point. I was SO proud of myself, as I finished three fanlistings and one project and was totally rocking out with my progression and then it all came down like domino's. I swear, it happens only to me, ha.

I've been stressing out myself, as I have a lot of built up…anger? Frustration? Depression? It's all like an average day to me, but since I haven't felt these feelings for a while, it's like taking a walk down a road that's dark and gloomy – not safe, but you do it anyway, because you either can't stop yourself from doing it or you're that curious to find out what's down there.

And whatdoya'know? I am now taking care of two dogs – one who was shot in the nose and is very much underweight and evidently abused – and another who's hyperactivity makes me want to throw her into the pond that's in our front yard. *growl*

I feel hideous for feeling this way – but I'll face it, I've never dealt with change very well and I certainly don't want anything to get in the way of the calm I just WANT to feel and haven't quite achieved. I want to shot to Gods 'Why the hell ME?!' a thousand and one times, but of course, it was God's path for me. And it makes me feel hopeless, because really, I just want to be alone, haha! I just want to keep to myself and do whatever it is I do, but no. I get stuck with too much stress I can't deal with (or feel like I can't deal with) and get stuck with alcoholics for parents who wouldn't know what the hell to do with me if they're own souls depended on it.

And I'm rambling. *drops down* I must go now. Hopefully (and I plan it) I'll come back with a happy ending for this half-rant, blog entry. ;D