Handling the Pants Awards

It was a bit ironic when Jem posted her entry on Handling the Critics », as I was drafting my own “handling the critics” article, and realized that that just wouldn’t do. Of course, my ticklish side came out, and it suddenly came to me: Handling the Pants Awards!

Pants Awards » are the infamous “awards” Jem hands out to those with a lack of content worth while (the awards are pointed more towards the visitor content (example: badly written tutorials, redistributed crap scripts, etc)). The majority of the winners have caused a fuss over them their sites being picked on, and since it would give me a laugh, I have gathered a list of tips on dealing with these awards the right way.

Step 1: Taking the Right Step

The first step is always the most important step, as it sets in stone what you’re about to do next. You have two options here: calm down and walk away from the computer or immediately post a blog about how you’ve been wronged and post 80+ nasty comments on Jem’s site.

I think you know the right choice here.

BITCH HER OUT. No, but it felt good, didn’t it? Now that you have strayed from your violent thoughts, take a deep breath and decide if it’s that important. Because if it is…immediately post that blog you were itching to write, although slightly less bitchy and emphasizing It’s my site! If it isn’t, then you can keep walking away and pretend like you never found that old computer in your attic.

Step 2: Dealing With It

At this point, you’re well into the game. Don’t pretend it didn’t miff you, Carrie. Read between the lines. Read what she is saying, not what she isn’t saying. I guarantee you, if you were an outsider looking in, you’d realize she was making fun of your site, not you. By being nasty, and not seeing the help she is extending to you (in a very weird way, I might add, but it’s still there), you’re only making other people laugh, and in the end nothing gets solved.

Well she could just butt out! I’m sure she could, but the whole premises of these awards are to point out what is “crap” on the internet. By raping people’s eyes having readability issues », crap tutorials (which are most likely stolen) and redistributed insecure scripts » on your website, you’re doing your visitors more bad than good.

Step 3: See, Read, Do

So you’ve seen it and you’ve read it. How about doing it? Remember when I said read between the lines? Do that ten more times and then some. You cannot learn enough from the internet than you can in that article. Highlight the points of your site you want to change, and change it. Don’t procrastinate and decide you “don’t have time to deal with it.” Do it, and do it right. If your site is for your visitors, cater to them; don’t let your site rot in the abomination that is probably is, when you could just as easily type in TWO lines of your CSS (line-height and font-size are your friends) and be halfway to the road of recovery.

End Note

I suppose this isn’t really helpful, just kind of random and not that interesting. Honestly, I don’t think I need to explain further; it’s all about the “Pants Award.” Take the damn thing with your head held high and learn from it. Don’t be a douche (as my sister would so eloquently tell you), and bitch about it, as that never gets you anywhere.

* This article holds no ties to Jem or her website, and I doubt she’ll come across it anytime soon. I hold no ties to those awards, and have never been a part of them. I’ve only laughed. I daresay, I have never seen this topic online, but if it does exist, I will remove it.