It was 2005 (…I think), and I was sort-of, kind-of getting into romance novels. I loved them, sucked all of them up like a vampire woken from the grave after 1,000 years and thirsting for blood. I couldn’t get enough! I did thriller, romance, historical romance, paranormal romance, you name it! If it had romance (of the sex kind, and Twilight is not of that kind), I was reading it. When I ventured across Suzanne Brockmann’s Navy SEAL series, I was instantly hooked. When I bought Hot Target, with the infamous character, FBI Agent (and openly, fabulously gay) Jules, I was even more excited with the series, because I felt there wasn’t enough same-sex relationships–much less people who were gay!–in Literature today.

I’ve always been a supporter of gay rights–having open-minded parents and a gay Uncle helps, hm?–but I had never explored how I really felt about it. I didn’t hate it, I just…didn’t know how I felt about it. In Hot Target, the sexual tension that happened between Jules, and his future husband, Robin (the main character’s brother) was…so intense. I read it from beginning to end without putting it down (back in the day when I couldn’t read a book in under six hours, but that’s for another day), and was very unsatisfied when I realised their story was not through.

Another thing? I listened to Forget It by Breaking Benjamin, hitting reply on my stereo ALL NIGHT LONG. This snippet stood out to me the most:

It’s a crime you let it happen to me
Out of mind, I love it, easy to please
Nevermind, forget it, just memories
On a page inside a spiral notebook

The entire song (you can read the lyrics at azlyrics.com ») is them in that book. It’s such a tragic song in it’s own right, and yet explains away so many words that cannot be said. That, my friends and viewers, is how I ended up getting into slash (for those who don’t know: a same sex pairing). I started with Harry/Draco from Harry Potter (which, along with Arthur/Merlin from Merlin, will always be my OTP), Arthur/Merlin from Merlin, Jack/Ianto from Torchwood, Brian/Justin from Queer as Folk (that is a given, kthnx) and even L/Light from the anime, Death Note. Yes, I am so very…well, I obviously have too much free time on my hands.

Now, after I finish The Taboolistings » of course, I will endeavour to write the most angsty Arthur/Merlin piece of fic based off that song, because Christina » has me dishing out the most angsty crap ever and I need practise. Watch out, it’ll make you cry (and she will, too).

So, in a bid to be a bit different, I decided to compile a list of what’s been going on with me as of late¹.

1. For the past two weeks, I’ve been working furiously on Listing Admin », so much so that I cleaned the entire house (and I have a nice sized house) all in under two hours when I got frantic, and I now have a dime-sized callous on my right wrist. I feel lost, now that the main update is over, so much so I find myself daydreaming about coding + web development twice as much as I did before…I even sent myself to sleep last night with all of my dribble!
2. In a bid to be more active in a community other than web development, I started teaching myself Piano, which is pissing me off, because I can’t control it with a mouse! Despite this, I’ve managed to learn all the keys (CDE, FGAB), learn half the notes (I only have one note down), one simple song and three Kate Nash songs. Yay?
3. Raine » (yes, you are featured twice in a blog post…amazing) posted a very spot-on post about weight loss » and how we actually don’t really do it properly, and I ran into that little issue here lately; I thought I was losing a bit of weight, despite me not exercising for quite some time. I take medication for a disorder, and it’s causing me to not hold any type of food down, which I found out was the cause of my weight loss. Of course, the thing to do would be to, oh, stop taking the medication, except I’m stubborn and a little bit of a cheap-o; I’m stubborn in the sense that I refuse to back down from the challenge and a cheap-o, because I hate switching medications, and despite me not being able to eat (most of the time, not all), the medication is working great for me. Doctor’s appointment in October will address this, I hope.
4. I’ve been enjoying the Fall TV line-up (…somewhat, but that’s another post down the road), and also Fall itself! We are in the middle of our first cold front, and it’s so nice not to have to run the air conditioner on high, and to walk outside feeling comfortable. Florida does not always equal the most fabulous of weather, and I’m truly hoping this’ll bring a good Winter.

There’s a few other bits and odds, but they’re a bit private, so I’ll leave it on that lovely note, yeah?

1. I almost went with Raine’s idea (er, meme?) of listing bad habits, but I’m a bit robotic and unreal, and I just refuse to open myself up to the that.

I, of course, have a digressing problem, and should probably just go ahead and get on with that, yeah?

Reading… a ridiculous amount of fanfiction! As I’m waiting for a book to come in the mail–and I’m kind of lazy, and am not reading the book I do have–I’ve been making like a sponge and sucking up pir8fancier’s » Draco/Harry fanfiction ». I know most of my readers don’t get into slash fanfiction, but the stories are so amazing. I’m not a fan at lack of sexual details, but the characterisations and humour is very, very potent, and I love how the author has mixed in the secondary characters so well–it’s almost about them, too, which I enjoy! So far, my favourite one is Bite Me, Hate Memes (and it’s sequel) and On One’s Knees. Just…asdfgkhk!

Listening… to Little Boots–who Haley » unknowingly got me into–who is an amazing artist! I love how techno and electronic her songs are–a personal kink, believe it or not–and her voice is so beautiful. In fact, the sister has filed Little Boots under my “weird and versatile music taste” category–something I feel was termed prematurely, because I was playing “Symmetry” at the time, and let’s face it, that song is weird–a clear sign I’m listening to her too much, but there’s no such thing in my eyes.

Coding… Pumpin’! »’s new layout, and finishing up Icon Admin, a flat-file run icon script. Which is all being released tomorrow. Wherein, I haven’t even started on Icon Admin³, but, hey, I’ve never done anything by that thing called rules.

Excited… for my new memory card, which is also in the mail, ready to be delivered! I mentioned on Twitter a couple of times that my memory card decided to die one day, and I finally had the money to replace it. I’m crazily excited, because I can pick up my Project 365 project from where I left off, and start taking decent pictures again. It will be fabulousity!

Making… a Victorian themed layout for Pumpin’!, and…it sucks. It’s one of my favourite eras in history, but I’m pretty positive I chose the wrong theme, considering my lack of skills with layouts sometimes. However, I can’t give up now, that would just be backwards and stupid and OK I’m being lazy.

Admiring… Mehmet Turget »–a Turkish photographer I found in 2008 and have been stalking ever since–and of course, Mert Alas and Marcus Piggott », my favourite fashion photographers of all time. I’ve have never failed to name an editorial by them, and I love seeing their work. ♥

Watching… my Dad make Thai soup, with a side of lemon soufflé. It makes me admire my parents ability to bring in different cultures into our house, and we always manage to find something different to eat. Italian, Mexican, Chinese, Japanese, Mediterranean…you name it⁴!

1. « I also suck at that, but once again: shush, we can ignore this.
2. « Don’t hold me to that.
3. « And no, this is not procrastinating, if that’s what you were thinking! I just decided to take a break, and instead of eating, I blogged. …Big deal.
4. « We are, of course, still very much American; bring on the hot dogs, hamburgers and potato/pasta salad!

Reading… historical romances! I just got finished with my Mom’s copy of Moon Craving » by Lucy Monroe; it originally drew me, because it’s about Scottish werewolves…! – If anybody knows me, they know my love for all things werewolves, and anything Scotland-related is like cake with whip cream on top – and it ended up being delicious in it’s writing. Ms. Monroe is absolutely brilliant at making the reader imagine they are in old-world Scotland – and the author had no problem breaching the subject of a man having another man as a “mate”, which sealed the deal for me. After reading it, it made me break into my historical romance collection, and I just picked up Gentle Rogue » by Johanna Lindsey, because I also have a pirate kink. It’s part of the Malory series, and even though I know a good number of people I know don’t particularly prefer romance, it’s so…19^th century and pirate-y! Pure love, le sigh.

(And I kind of end up rambling on the whole ‘Reading’ bit every time…sorry about that!)

Listening… a couple of Disney classics, initially, and finally my personal « techno mix (beware, I use “techno” in its loose form). It has Dangerous Muse, Lady Gaga and Combichrist–the essentials, as far as I’m concerned¹.

Coding… a ridiculous amount of CSS that is making me want to dig my fingers into my eyeballs. My “talent” (I LIKE USING LOOSE FORMS, STFU) does extend to CSS and me knowing a lot about it, but…damnit, there’s a reason I like backend-coding more than frontend!

Excited… for my internet to die. I know, I know; I have a bit to do before it does die, and I’ll inside die after four days, and a whole week without any access will get boring fast – but I like the break. I like not worrying about e-mails, MySQL across my sites and that thing called a fanlisting collective.

Making… a entry for Digital Photography I’m writing up! I’m really, really excited about it and its debut, and I only need one more models consent before I can finish and post it. ♥ It’ll be fabulous; I get to show off my model photography, as well, which will only be shown in this article. Excited, as said!

Admiring… model Abbey Lee Kershaw. Model nerd here, but I’ve been watching her for the past year and a half, and she’s just so diverse! I get so excited when she’s in a new campaign or editorial, and I really hope she stays in the long run!

Watching… Roswell and as much sci-fi/fantasy movies I can stuff into my head without exploding. Roswell started off at the beginning of the month, and I’ve seen Cirque Du Freak (I really, really loved this one! It’s got so much potential to turn into an awesome movie series, so I hope this was the push it needed), New Moon (not as bad as I thought – I can’t stand the Twilight series with a passion, but I’d watch this again) and The Crowe! …So the last is a little old, it’s still a classic! Of course, others movies (which I’ve already seen prior to watching them) were also viewed, because movies are loved hard in my house.

Cooking… German Chocolate cake!

The Dad isn’t a fan of coconut and pecans, but together it’s heaven in our mouths – or, well, hell if you’re anything like my sister.

1. « I didn’t have Depeche Mode, Dirty Sanchez, The Presets and The Ting Tings on there, which I have, as they were on the first part of the remix (show in the screenshot to the left).

I decided to name this edition of Songs of Tess “Songs of the Moment”–it was originally “Techno Thursday”, but a) I wasn’t feeling the techno vibe tonight and b) it’s no longer Thursday–and I’m sincerely sucking tonight, boys and girls, at titles.

Thanks to Larissa » (unknowingly, however), I managed to find something spiffy to display these songs for listening: « Songs of Tess: The Horrible Title Edition – take a peak, it’s amazingness!

Filthy Mind (Mount Rushmore Extended Mix) by Amanda Ghost

We originally heard this in the horror movie Valentine, and then in the infamous 10^th episode of the first season of Queer as Folk.

A life with fools, this world is cruel
We never dispense with toys
Could you make a suggestion for an act I would enjoy?

I decided to list the Mount Rushmore remix, as this is my favourite out of the four remixes (including the original!) currently available. Nonetheless, I think the name » is apt, yes?

1, 2, 3, 4 Guitars by Blood Brothers

The Blood Brothers will always have my heart, will always be number one with their eclectic lyrics, screaming vocals and mixture of guitar, accordion and piano–among others. 1, 2, 3, 4 Guitars – which is very hard to type, I tell you! – is kind of fitting of the season, especially since it’s Spring.

The winter left town with
Some seventeen-year-old waitress
And Spring’s laying in a pile of
All the moments of our misadventures…

I may be biased, but this is a favourite », and this something, coming from one of those there’s-five-albums-that-wasn’t-the-only-good-album -type people!

Hot Mess by Cobra Starship

Christina » showed me–and by show I mean she subtly hinted–this song last night, and it’s been on repeat every since. I’ve always loved Cobra Starship, and I’m honestly surprised I’ve never heard it before this!

Well, you’re a hot mess and I’m falling for you
And I’m like hot damn! let me make you my boo
Cause you can shake it shake it shake it
Yeah you know what to do
You’re a hot mess

It reminds me of a lot of fanfiction characters–come on, we rarely, if ever, see men happy to be less than macho, especially in romance novels (let’s pretend we all read this). Hot Mess » is such a greatly different take on what guys normally like, and it’s a got a great beat!

Monster by Lady Gaga

Oh, come on – it wouldn’t be me if Lady Gaga wasn’t in some way included in this!

I wanna Just Dance
But he took me home instead
Uh oh! There was a monster in my bed
We French kissed on a subway train
He tore my clothes right off
He ate my heart then he ate my brain

Besides the obvious reference of her first-hit single and zombies (really, referencing is fan-fucking-tastic), Monster » is a little dark, but it’s very apt in the overall storyline.

Sex Type Thing by Stone Temple Pilots

I had to include one of their songs–they’re releasing another album! YES! FUCKING A. …Anyhow, one of their best songs–in both lyrics and instrumental value!–to date. According to the band, it’s an anti-rape song, and basically depicts how a man treats women – or men, too – by objectifying them. …Or something, I’m still on “I know you like what’s on my mind”…

I ain’t, I ain’t, I ain’t
A buyin’ into your apathy
I’m gonna learn ya’ my philosophy
You wanna know about atrocity, atrocity?

I’m the last person to take something very seriously–and this is clearly a fitting example of that. It’s a very hot song, and I’m so in love with the vocals. (Reading the lyrics » wins you brownie points!)

…and of course, this just makes me want to start of a playlist of “songs with the word ’sex’ in it”, “songs with sex depicted in it” and “songs with ’sex’ in the title”. IT WOULD BE NEVER-ENDING, I AM JUST SAYING.

Again: « Songs of Tess: The Horrible Title Edition. A playlist of songs to listen to! *throws confetti*

Reading… yaoi manga! I know some of you could take it or leave it (or just leave it), but I’ve fallen so in love with some of some (very old!) manga! Love Mode–originally released in 1995! I was five-barely-six at the time!–is my favourite so far, but I love Junjou Romantica and Crimson Spell as well! The characters are very intertwined, and in Junjou Romantica, one of the main characters is a writer, and it’s inspired the writer inside me. I think I’m finding my voice for writing, I really do.

Listening… nothing has stuck in my head in April, but I’ve been listening to Eminem a bit, as well as Lady Gaga, Placebo and “Hot Mess” by Cobra Starship (Christina » showed me this gem)–I’m so complex, gais!

Coding… Listing Admin », where I’ve been learning the joys of crossposting to Enthusiast, or just to a different server. It’s made me realise how lucky I am to have a shared reseller on DreamHost–I don’t have to worry about the different servers and MySQL variables!

Excited… for driving! I, Tess, at 20 do not have a driver’s license. I have my permit–for the last two years, no less!–and the Dad just got new tires on my car–that I’ve had for six years in November–so I’m really excited about getting it legal. Not only will the Mom have some transportation herself, but she can now teach me how to drive! Insert huge jump in the air here!

Making… DVDs…? I’ve made some DVDs for the sixth season of Bleach, which the sister has now religiously been watching as well! According to my calculations (half-assed accessing of the situation), Bleach is one of the few anime series that can be watched by anybody, even non-Anime fans (that would be the sister)!

Admiring… Milla Jovovich, oh em gee! My deep, deep love knows no bounds with Milla, but I’ve been enjoying having added to my Milla Jovovich collection of movies (A Perfect Getaway + Resident Evil), and re-waching them. (Did I mention the sister is also in love with Milla? I never said she didn’t have great taste, too!)

Watching… a ton of movies! The two latter above go under this as well, but the amount of movies I’ve been intaking is surprising. The Hangover (finally!) and The Men Who Stare at Goats are lovely, and the Mom and I have never laughed so hard. With the Dad working last Saturday, and the Uncle being out of the house for the weekend, the Mom, sister and I watched The Men Who Stare at Goats and laughed at hippy!George Clooney and unbelieving!Ewan, and stayed up until one in the morning watching The Hangover and laughing at sexy!Bradley, screaming!Ed and ridiculously-weird!Zach. Very, very well done movies.

Cooking… I cooked 15 Bean Soup¹ last weekend, as well, and the sister and I plan to cook the Mom carrot cake tonight. Or me, since I plan to bake it after she goes to bed, so we can surprise her tomorrow morning. Yaaay to staying up till three in the morning (it’s the thought that counts?)!

Taking a Photo Of… My new coffee cup!

The Dad got it for me after he got the sister one (the Mad Hatter)–I quite like mine, reminds me of…me? (That was lame, shush.)

1. « It’s yummier than it sounds! It’s made of fifteen different types of beans, kielbasa and ground sausage, stewed Mexican (or Italian/regular) tomatoes and cajun seasoning. It’s a cajun dish that the Mom and I have made into a hit. IT’S LOVELY, SHUT UP.

A trip down memory lane for those not in the know: I met Melissa in 2003, right after I started building websites. Out of the… say, seven/eight friends we all knew, she is the only one I’ve kept in consistent contact with. I’ve talked on the phone with her, co-owned websites with her, and knew her when she started the Muse obsession that would lead her to go around the USA attending their concerts¹. I admit it: we’re not nearly as close as we once were, but she inspired me in so many ways back then, and she still inspires me now.

Melissa introduced me to Muse – insert aforementioned obsession here – as well as Bayside, and (unknowing to her) Placebo, my favourite band. Melissa is one of the amazing dedicated fans of bands that don’t give you the heeby-jeebies, and I will probably never be able to listen to Muse without thinking of her.

So! These are my favourite songs of Muse, all dedicated to Melissa, and not sorted alphabetically, but my relevance (my inner OC is dying inside right now, BTW)! Of course, you can « listen to them here.

Unintended (Showbiz)

I’m only listing this first, because it’s a beautiful song. It’s one of the first ones I heard, and it’ll never stop being a melody to my ears.

First there was the one who challenged
All my dreams and all my balance
She could never be as good as you

It’s a truly inspirational song to me, because a) we both (back then) associated it with Draco/Hermione, and while I’m a Harry/Draco convert, it’s still symbolic and b) it’s not a love-love story ». It’s a bit like, “yeah, I was in love before, but I’m in love with you now”… type… thing. WHATEVER.

Time Is Running Out (Absolution)

This was the first song Melissa introduced me to, and for that reason, it’s one of my favourites. That, and the lyrics are kind of sexy:

I think I’m drowning, asphyxiated
I wanna’ break this spell that you’ve created
You’re something beautiful, a contradiction
I wanna play the game, I want the friction

It’s a modern break-up song, but with a twist; you can clearly see the person’s struggle with their partner, and wanting to hack them to pieces, but wanting to save it, hence time is running out. Amazing! »

Bliss (Origin of Symmetry)

Bliss. It kind of says it all, really.

Everything about you is how I’d wanna’ be
Your freedom comes naturally
Everything about you resonates happiness
Now I won’t settle for less

The lyrics remind me of » my Mom, because she really gives off the beautiful vibe in this song. Sometimes you just need a pick-me-up song, and Bliss is very apt.

Knights of Cydonia (Black Holes & Revelations

Absolution is my favourite album to date from Muse, but Black Holes & Revelations is second, admittedly, and it was hard choosing. I stuck with Knights of Cydonia, because a) it’s music is the greatest shit ever, b) the music video was awesome and c) I love Knights, so the title captivates me².

Come ride with me
Through the veins of history
I’ll show you how god
Falls asleep on the job

You and I must fight to survive »~! /in music heaven

I Belong to You (Mon cœur s’ouvre á ta voix) (The Resistance)

All the songs are fabulous on the new album, but I’m a lyrics nerd, and I Belong to You captivated me.

I can’t find the words to say
They’re overdue
I’ve traveled half the world to say
I belong to you…

I’m not big on French, but it really is quite catchy ». And I really love the piano in the song.

That’s it! And yes, those songs are all on separate albums, because I had to be OC about something.

1. « Melissa has attended at least two concerts prior to this, each with years inbetween – as I will mention, we’re not as close as we once were, so this could be a larger number.
2. « I’m easily dazzled; if you didn’t know this (or didn’t guess it), you don’t know me very well.

I decided to not go with my initial idea of Songs of Tess (disclosed for now), but only because I liked this one, and wanted to lift people up without being a creepster. So, life; we all are have one – some in more ways than others I might add, but in no way less meaningful – and we all go through some shit – again, some more than others – and we all just sometimes want to give up, because it becomes too much.

Musicians are beautiful in the sense that they can create beautiful melody, but I think they’re beautiful for relating to us normal folks. For releasing songs that we can all say, “hey! I know what that feels like, and it’s not just overinflated fan service, either!”, and for making us realise we’re not alone in the way we’re all feeling and experiencing life.

Songs can be « found here, of course (note that one song is missing due to size and type of the file)!

Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked by Cage the Elephant

Probably one the best songs for “life”; it sums up what we all do for a living, but without stepping on toes in the process – I’m looking at you, Eminem.

There ain’t no rest for the wicked
Money don’t grow on trees
I got bills to pay, I got mouths to feed
Ain’t nothing in this world for free

It reminds me of my parents, who do exactly that. Well, not the whole wicked part, but doing anything to feed the sister and I, and pay the bills. It’s a great view on what we all glaze over ».

Return to Innocence by Enigma

Like a lot of bands – Collective Soul, Duran Duran and Stone Temple Pilots to name a few – I grew up on Enigma, and Enigma is still very strong within me. Return to Innocence is one of my favourite songs simply for it’s innocence.

If you want, then start to laugh
If you must, then start to cry
Be yourself don’t hide
Just believe in destiny
Don’t care what people say
Just follow your own way
Don’t give up and use the chance to return to innocence…

It’s a powerful song », and it’s impact on me after all these years stays unwavering.

Here We Go Again by OK GO

I kind of look at this song as my life’s anthem right now – here it goes again is definitely the saying of the century, and I know all of us have felt this way in some form or another.

I guess there’s got to be a break in the monotony, but Jesus, when it rains how it pours…

The lyrics » can be interpreted as a relationship – or relationships – gone awry but it’s just so correct in every thing I feel a good bit of the time!

Last Resort by Papa Roach

I asked the Dad once what he thought of Papa Roach’s new music, and he summed up it up perfectly:

With Last Resort, we all in some way understood – we have all once been desperate, have all been in that black hole, have all broken down. That desperation just isn’t there with Getting Away With Murder.

I could relate to Last Resort because I had felt all those things – I just couldn’t go on living that way… and yes, that was totally a in-song reference!

I never realized I was spread too thin
Till it was too late and I was empty within
Hungry, feeding on my chaos and living in sin
Downward spiral, where do I begin?

Gore and intensity aside », it’s stunning in it’s reality nonetheless.

Drag by Placebo

Oh, come on… it’s me, it’d be a crime if Placebo wasn’t here! That aside, Drag is a really, really beautiful song, because it’s a very positive song. Placebo stunned me completely, because I was totally thinking it was going to be a drag queen song… I was quite surprised!

You’re always ahead of the pack, I drag behind
You possess every trait that I lack by coincidence or by design
You’re the monkey I got on my back that tells me to shine…

While the person – Brian, the lead singer, in this instance, but let’s pretend! – is dragging behind », it’s quite clear how the person feels about the person always ahead. Absolutely adorable!

And of course, the end of my five songs! These were actually quite difficult to pick out, because I tried to stay away from the angst-ridden songs – which is sadly a lot – and try for something bright and… realistic? I’m up-ing the cheese factor here, guys!

Reading… the manga Bleach, or really re-reading. All I can say for it is a) I love Nelliel, b) Ichigo is one of the best friends one can have, c) Ikkaku and Yumichika are the gayest of the gays for each other and I have an inkling their captain, Kenpachi, knows it and d) Aizen is one of the best villains ever written (he just won’t die, and he makes my skin crawl – that’s some strong feelings to be invoked by a fictional character!).

Listening… (according to my Last.fm stats, anyway!) Miley Cyrus, Lady Gaga, Placebo and « Muse – thanks to Melissa », the song I Belong to You has been stuck in my head for the past three days, and I’m trying to attempt learning it on piano. MELISSA, IT IS ALL YOUR FAULT.

Coding… a Manga reader. Yes, you read that correct. Instead of working on Listing Admin », or poking at Media Admin – which, a month from today exactly, will be releaded – I am coding up something I’ll probably only use once a month or something. That’s how Tess rolls, yo!

Excited… for caffeine. I’m a boring person; I will never have a truly exciting life, so the most exciting thing for me is something with fucking caffeine right now.

Making… a couple of layouts! I’m a coder – I love cracking into CSS and HTML just as much as PHP.

Admiring… Muse’s ability to make me cry.

Watching… The IT Crowd! :D It’s a British sitcom, and one of the most genius things I’ve watched in a while. The IT Crowd – IT for “Information Technologies”, instead of “it” – is about the IT department in a company, and a woman, who knows nothing about computers, being their manager. Absolutely hilarious. ♥

Cooking… pork chops!

In this case I only marinated them, but I am fantastic at marinating almost anything. I’m also rather lame, because I get this whut? look on my face when I actually have to cook and/or marinate food. I’m sometimes so consumed with scripting that I forget I can do anything else! :P

Taking a Photo of… José, our red tail boa snake.

Snakes are very, very overrated, and I could go on a fifty-paragraph rant about it, but I’ll save the *facepalm* moment for another time. José – yes, named after the Dad’s favourite drink, José Cuervo – won’t get much bigger than he is now, and he’ll live a long time, as we didn’t power-feed him. I’ll have to upload more photos of him!

Usually I add a new “Just a Minute…” section every month, but I’m running on a low battery, and I’m just going to go before I no longer make any sense!

I decided to go with the idea of choosing five songs per artists of the artists that have the most songs in my library. I don’t have a library to do this, however – I briefly considered creating a script for it, but I’m much too lazy to do it at this point – so I decided to split it up in five weeks, and choose ten songs from each artist. Yay! for more crazy Tess music.

Blood Brothers

I’m not a fan of the screamo or “harcore” genre by any means. In fact, it’s one of my least favourite genres, and in 2005, I declared I couldn’t stand Blood Brothers », because it was right around the time their fourth album, Crimes, was released, and “Love Rhymes With Hideous Car Wreck” was being overplayed. I caught “Crimes” off that album in 2006, and then declared they were the best thing to ever happen to music.

I decided to choose Blood Brothers from the many artists (with a good number of songs) in my library, because to me, they are the very epitome of screamo, and furthermore a “band” – they are eclectic with their lyrics, never shying away from any subject, and have quite the talent for playing almost every instrument known to man. Jordan and Johnny are the vocalists – the former holding a deep voice, and the latter holding a higher pitch, much like Brian, the lead singer of Placebo – with Cody, Mark and Morgan playing about 329575849 instruments (guitar, bass, drums and percussion being a select few).

You can listen to some of the songs « at the usual place – I’ll upload the rest of the songs tomorrow morning, promise!

“Doctor! Doctor!” from This Adultery is Ripe

When I see you walking all alone, I wanna cut the corners off your lips
I wanna shave the angles off your cheeks
I wanna wash the geometry off your face

It’s mostly about a sadistic Doctor, but hints the girl’s apparent obsession with looks and sex with the Doctor on the operating table. …yeah, I don’t even know either.

“Ambulance vs. Ambulance” from Burn Piano Island, Burn

You’ll never see your wife and children again
So tell us what it was going through your head
When you looked in, into their eyes and said “no thanks I’ll take the hooker instead”?

I look at Ambulance vs. Ambulance as a representation of our fucked up world, really, and I guarantee you, if you are into anything Blood Brothers do, this will be one of the many songs on constant repeat!

“The Salesman, Denver Max” from Burn Piano Island, Burn

My name is Denver Max and won’t you come sit on my lap
Because the only thing you own is everything you lack

The Salesman, Denver Max is about an older man victimising a (significantly) younger girl, but the lyrics also depict a generic abusive relationship, which is much more common than is given credit for. It’s kind of tragic and sick, but Johnny did a wonderful job with the vocals, and the melody is out of this world.

“Crimes” from Crimes

We’re just like those condom wrappers: used up, torn up, thrown away
And we’re just like yesterday’s headlines: drifting, floating, towards the blaze…

Crimes is one of my favourite songs of theirs, and not just because it was my introduction into their music, as it were! Not only is this one of my favourite songs that Jordan sang, but it’s one of their least hardcore songs. The lyrics are amazing – And if we rob the liquor store we could be in Tijuana by the crack of dawn …come on! – and the drums in this is just outstanding.

“Feed Me to the Forest” from Crimes

Was it just last night that I woke up to a snarling baby?
Did I hear it right?
He begged his mother, feed me to the forest!

Feed Me to the Forest always reminds me of a cross between Tom Waits and Lady Gaga – it’s got the electronica feel that Lady Gaga has, and the drumming beat and distorted sound that Tom Waits sometimes uses. Just a lovely sound!

“Live At The Apocalypse Cabaret” from Crimes

But scarecrow, I’m still alive
Who sewed me back together to watch the whole world writhe?

I know I say their melody is great all the time, but if I had to base a song off of strictly that, Live would take the cake. The piano is so stunning, it almost brings tears to my eyes; hands down, one of their best songs overall, not just off this particular album!

“My First Kiss at the Public Execution” from Crimes

Just five dollars to see a face explode, to see a man strung up by his throat
Come one! Come all!
If you look close enough you’ll see death’s machinery exposed

Public Execution notes the world’s – or America, anyhow – penchant for publicising executions (paparazzi and journalists anyone?), and getting off on it. The song is quite catchy, though, and makes you feel like you are at a public execution… in a carnival/fair type of way.

“1, 2, 3, 4 Guitars” from Young Machetes

Guitar two’s touch keeps ruining lovers for other lovers
Like jokers concealed in trick decks in our laps

Not quite about guitars – as is their way with most of their lyrics – the guitar and drums in this song is out of this world, and the song’s sound sounds very dusty, like a broken record (yes, that’s totally an in-song reference!).

“Johnny Ripper” from Young Machetes

The dull years drag the best days of your life through asphalt and glass
While summer’s favorite fathers birthing next year’s deadbeat dads

On rare occasions, the lead vocalists will only sing strictly by themselves in a song, with almost no (if any) back-up vocals. Johnny Ripper is ironically sung by Jordan, and depicts the movie Idiocracy – or, for anyone who hasn’t seen it, a bunch of dumbasses having sex, getting pregnant and not taking responsibility for it (of sorts).

“Street Wars/Exotic Foxholes” from Young Machetes

Brass boots, where has your gaunt gown gone?
Whose streets have you walked on?
Who did you meet? What did they say?
Is the world just a foxhole you watch from?

And I coincidentally leave you with a song about war (in essence), which isn’t the message I want to send, aha! Street Wars is fantastic to leave with, nonetheless, because the harmonising the vocalists do is very Beatles-esque, and the bass is just plain ole awesome!

Reading… some fanfiction (nothing new there), and J.R. Ward’s new book, Lover Mine. Great plot, wonderful characters, horrible butchering of the gay ones. I still keep coming back, though, so the woman is doing something right!

Listening… to Lorene Drive and Britney Spears, because I love mixing genres, as well as spamming everyone with the genius that is « Blood Brothers (if I so wasn’t starry-eyed about it, I’d feel a little bad!).

Coding… Media Admin, and I. hate. Amazon’s. API. It’s one of the worst things in the world to get around – something I have yet to do, and if you know me, you know I don’t, and won’t, give up that easily – and never thought I’d think that about XML! GO DIAF, AMAZON API.

Excited… that the sister is back! She went to California (San Francisco) for three weeks to visit our older sister. She loved it in California – the pictures! – but didn’t love the sister. I needed someone to fangirl The Whitest Kids U’Know and The IT Crowd with!

Making… abstract art for a project, and its not as horrible as I first thought it’d be; it’s actually quite fun, and the colour options…!

Admiring… Trevor Moore. See “Watching” for further (fangirlish) details.

Watching… The Whitest Kids U’Know! OH EM GEE. I took my cable company’s, Comcast, advice – surprising; they’re a shitty company with even shittier advertising methods – and watched it on IFC, and have never looked back. It was created by Trevor Moore and Sam Brown, and it loosely based off of Trevor’s first show. Although all five boys – Trevor, Sam, Zach, Darren and Timmy, in order of hiring – write the show, Trevor’s the head writer, and I just marvel at his, and their, genius. Darren and Zach are my favourite, and Timmy makes me laugh so fucking hard; Trevor is the best at ridiculous-but-still-funny!wigs (and pants) and Sam with his ridiculously crass (but still funny) skits! While I wouldn’t suggest this for the squeamish or easily-offended, it’s some of the funniest shit I’ve seen in a while! Also, a quick shout out to Grandma’s Boy, the best movie ever made. Fin~

Cooking… brownies, because it seems to be all I’m good for. I admittedly passed on a few chances to cook, but I’ve been wrung out with coding – AMAZON. I’M LOOKING AT YOU HERE. – that I just haven’t felt up to it.

Taking a Photo of… Nay-Nay!

Nay-Nay goes through these daily rituals of randomly coming up to me, meowing and jumping up into my lap to cuddle. Most of the time she stays for twenty seconds before getting bored, but she actually let me take (really bad) photos of her, and cuddle with her, too. (My hand was trying to hold her head still long enough to get the shot. Alas, I was not successful. I have failed thee.) So, to make up for the quality, here’s a photo of a yellow grasshopper (and to remind you all I’m not a horribly bad photographer):

Feeling admittedly nostalgic – I remember the sister, the friend and I would collect grass hoppers, kill them and then throw them away because they stunk. We actually made a sport of catching them. …Which is kind of not-so-nostalgic, and more morbid. I couldn’t do it now, only marvel at how weirdly cute it looked.

Playing… The Spill Canvas – Our Song », which is the best damn song ever right now.

And anyhow: you knew it was coming! :D

Continuing the Artist collection of “Songs of Tess”, Placebo is a british rock band, and my favourite of all time. Not only are their sexualities echoed in their music (the bassist is gay, and the leader singer is bi-sexual and very androgynous), but their music is not over and beyond, and quite simplistic (which is the opposite of « Blood Brothers, who are very extravagant, another reason why I chose Placebo next), and their mix of electronica – later albums, anyway! – makes me squee quite a bit!

I found Placebo from a friend – Melissa », actually – who played “English Summer Rain”, “Every You Every Me” and “Pure Morning”. I decided to download them, looking for new music, and a handful of other songs, and the rest as they say is history. Brian’s, the leader singer, voice is nasally, and I’ve heard that’s annoying, and they’re not everyone’s cup o’ tea, but if I had to suggest a band, Placebo would be one of them. Onto the epic playlist!

Quick note: I didn’t include their third album, Black Market Music, because I have yet to listen to it fully.

Nancy Boy from Placebo

A song from their self-titled debut album, and it never fails to send butterflies through my stomach. I’ve listened to Nancy Boy on current current Last.fm account » over 1,100+ times. It’d be a bit redundant going on and on about it being my favourite song, yes?

Does his makeup in his room
Douse himself with cheap perfume
Eyeholes in a paper bag
greatest lay I ever had

Every You Every Me from Without You I’m Nothing

This is what I think is their most known song, as it was featured in Cruel Intentions, though I didn’t know it was in the movie – a movie, I might add, I watched a number of times – and the sister didn’t either; she actually found this song through me!

Like the naked leads the blind
I know I’m selfish, I’m unkind
Sucker love I always find someone to bruise and leave behind

I think it fit Cruel Intentions quite well – the song depicts a… erm, not very calm relationship, but one both partners indulged in anyway.

Pure Morning from Without You I’m Nothing

Pure Morning is considered one of their more known songs, but I couldn’t resist slapping this up here!

A friend in needs a friend indeed
My Japanese is better
And when she’s pressed she will undress
And then she’s boxing clever

English Summer Rain from Sleeping With Ghosts

Sleeping With Ghosts was and is a beautiful album, there’s no other word for it. It had it’s rock, it’s soft song (every awesometastic album has this!) and enough individuality from the members, plus experimentation, that is was simply Placebo. “English Summer Rain” is my favourite song next to “Nancy Boy”, as it’s very soothing, but very… instrumental at the same time. Kind of hard to explain! /goes to lyrics

Hold your breath and count to ten
Start again, start again…

No idea what English summer rain is like, but… well, that’s Florida for you at the very least (insert rage!smilies here).

Sleeping With Ghosts from Sleeping With Ghosts

Sleeping With Ghosts is a really beautiful song in its own right, but the lyrics are quite awesome, and the music is so serene. You can look at this in a romantic light, or a platonic one – the latter being my sister; I kind of feel we are “soulmates”, and not just because were siblings. I know it seems extreme, but a) it’s me and b) I could listen to this song forever.

Hush
It’s okay
Dry your eye
Dry your eye
Soulmate dry your eye
Dry your eye
Soulmate dry your eye
Cause soulmates never die

The Bitter End from Sleeping With Ghosts

Most relationships I’ve ever seen – whether from a friend or a family members – have ended badly, or at least on a bad note. I, myself, have had a friendship that ended this way. Whether Brian, the lyricist for this song, realises it or not, songs like this go a long way. /teary eyed

From the time we intercepted
Feels a lot like suicide
Slow and sad, grown inside us
Arouse and see you’re mine
(See you at the bitter end)

Because I Want You from Meds

Meds will forever be my favourite album from Placebo – which, after Sleeping With Ghosts, says a lot! – not only for it’s electronic feel, but because the lyrics are darker, they’re grittier, and the music is just intense! “Because I Want You” is a little self-explanatory, but a wonderful song, nonetheless.

Fall in to you, is all I ever do!
When I hit the bottle, ’cause I’m afraid to be alone… tear us in two, tear us in two, tear us in two…

Infra-Red from Meds

According to Brian, “Infra-Red” is about getting drunk, thinking about something that happened, and dealing with the person(s) involved, coupled with everything that has happened to you. I can relate to this a lot; there was an instance where I did nothing wrong, and I’ve always wanted to confront the person involved about it. Not that I get drunk and do this or anything, but I know those emotions are in most people. :P

One more thing before we start the final face-off
I will be the one to watch you fall
So I came down to crash and burn your beggar’s banquet

If you are (drunk and) feeling vindictive and don’t want anyone to know about it, give it a listen – it was quite a balm for me when I was facing that situation!

Post Blue from Meds

The album “Meds” was apparently about substance abuse, being drunk, etc., so I kind of take “Post Blue” as a healthier (in the love department) version to “The Bitter End”, with a tragic turn (the graphic lyrics of drug use and sex).

It’s in the water baby
It’s in the pills that pick you up
It’s in the water baby
It’s in the special way we fuck
It’s in the water baby
It’s in your family tree
It’s in the water baby
It’s between you and me

It’s intense, to say the least, but I do love the repeated “I’d break the back of love for you”, because quite honestly, that’s romantic – something I’m sure Placebo probably didn’t intend. :P

Kitty Litter from Battle For the Sun

I have admittedly been lax on not listening to their newest album, but I’ve got a couple of ones I love, and “Kitty Litter” reminds me of old school Placebo. The repeated lyric, “I need a change of skin”, kind of explains the song, especially coupled with “Kitty Litter”.

The way you’re moving
Hips from side to side
Makes you all that I desire
Bathsheba of my choosing and I’m so unsatisfied
You’re all that I require

That is sadly it, and what a ride! You can listen to the songs « at the usual place, of course.

Reading… Gena Showalter’s latest book, The Darkest Lie, from her series The Lords of the Underworld, which was fabulous (and also happened to contain one of my favourite characters!). I also have be re-reading Jacquelyn Frank’s Shadowdweller series, which is just so… intense! The grammar is so great, the writing style feels so old, and… I’m just at a loss for words. It’s gorgeous. ♥

Listening… Puscifer! I’m such a Maynard fangirl, I’m surprised I just got into one of his many projects, but I love almost electronic feel to it! So far, I love the Drunk With Power (Version 2), Rev 22:20 (Dry Martini Mix) and The Undertaker (Renholder Mix) songs. :D

Coding… a little of this and that… I’ve been working on a secret project–three, actually!–which lean more towards CSS and graphic design, but since I managed to code a imagemap without the tag, I figure that’s worth my vacation from PHP.

Excited… to watch the latest season of The IT Crowd, aaah! The sister and I promised we’d wait for the season to end to watch them all – that’s how we do it! – and I can’t wait for it! *rubs hands together*

Making… icons! I’m not very good at them, but sometimes (mostly when I’m procrastinating), I open up my graphics program, and just go to town. I like to think of it as my way to relieve The Stress of Life.

Admiring… Homotography » (I promise the site is cleaner than the title hints at!) – introduced to me by Christina », unsurprisingly – and I just love this blog! As the subtitle says, it’s a site that has “photography with homosexual tendencies”, in both female and male tendencies (yes, I totally just referenced itself!). I just love the photography, really¹.

Watching… some delicious new movies, including Clash of the Titans, Remember Me (by force, and no, it wasn’t good) and The Book of Eli. I think I may be – wait for it – …picky. It just seems that the void inside me can’t be filled. When I think, “this could be a movie I can replay over and over and over and annoy the parents with!”, but alas, the last movies to fill that void have been Sherlock Holmes and The Wolfman.

Cooking… black beans! :D

I had no idea what I was doing when I was making these; the Mom called me, said “cook these, they’re kind of like 15 Bean Soup~”² and I was like, “…OK”, and there we have it. They were delicious, though, especially with the yellow rice!

Taking a Photo of… The Dad’s motorcycle! He had it in the shop for… well, over a year, and he just finished his course to get his motorcycle license (and scored the highest grade on the written exam – like the man needed anything more to go to his head).

And Nay-Nay, who was giving me a side glance so reminiscent of my own that I just had to post it. She learned from the best, after all (if you click the photo for the larger version, you can kind of see me in her eye).

Playing… Megan McCauley – Porcelain Doll ». I just recently got my hands on Megan’s 2007 album, Better Than Blood, and I just fell more in love with her, if that was at all possible in the five years I’ve been worshipping her. *hoards music player*

Remodelling… zee living room, courtesy of the sister and I!

Ignoring the crap quality of the photo, we moved around pretty much everything besides the TV (not pictured), because of the cable cord. We like it, though, because it opens it up quite a bit. :D

(The next “Just a Minute…” won’t nearly be so image-heavy, promise!)

1. « AND I SWEAR MY ICON FOR THIS ENTRY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MY FEELINGS TOWARDS THAT SITE, OR THAT IT CAME FROM THAT SITE EVEN THOUGH THAT PARTICULAR EDITORIAL MAY OR MAY NOT BE THERE.
2. « “15 Bean Soup”, for those that don’t know the recipe, is ground sausage and kielbasa browned with celery and onion, and then cooked with the bean mix (fifteen different kind of beans, as the title says), stewed tomatoes and the Cajun seasoning that comes with the beans.

The parents raised the sister and I on everything. Classic, country, rock, pop – you name it. While they were partial (we all kind of are) to rock, they played The Beatles, Aeromsith, Missing Persons, The Police, KISS, Bread and Stevie Ray Vaughan, and I went on to listen to Everything the World Has Created (I like techno and rock the best, to be clear); the sister went on her Indie Kick of 2001 and never left it (I have no problem with that: she will still sit through my Lady Gaga, Spice Girls and Placebo playing marathons, whereas everyone else evacuates the premises). We grew up on everything, as said, and one of the family’s major indulgences is sitting down, sifting through our C.D. collections, and picking out some good ole 90s music, like Godsmack, Creed, Soundgarden – all that and more!

Also, it’s my way of avoiding labels. I have no problems with labels – one of my favourite bands, « Blood Brothers, would not, to all extents and purposes, fall under anything other than “screamo” or perhaps “hardcore” – and even embrace most of them, but I’m old fashioned a bit. I like the simple, “rock”, “techno”, “metal”, etc., I liked it when it was just [insert label here] without a large branch of subgenres. (To be clear, this is not to say some genres shouldn’t have this, or can’t – as I said, I accept them as a whole.)

Beautiful Disaster by 311 (Transistor; 1997)

The parents went to go see 311 in concert back in May 2009, and it was apparently one of the best concerts the parents have been to (which have been a lot). Threw in “Beautiful Disaster” for them; also, this was the only 311 song in my library that didn’t have SA’s vocals, and I’m all *sadface* about that now.

Beautiful disaster, flyin’ down the street again
I tried to keep up, you wore me out and left me ate up
Now I wish you all the luck
You’re a butterfly in the wind without a care
A pretty train crash to me and I can’t care
I do, I don’t, whatever

Pink by Aerosmith (Nine Lives; 1997)

One of my favourite 90s songs simply because when I thought I could wear pink and get away with it (read: couldn’t, can’t), it described me to a T (if I were a sex kitten always on drugs, that is); the Dad also wore his signature pink shirt when it came out. Pink is still one of my favourite colours~ (a reference, hey-ho!).

You could be my flamingo
‘Cause pink is the new kinda lingo
Pink like a deco umbrella
It’s kink – but you don’t ever tell her

Heavy by Collective Soul (Dosage; 1999)

I’m cutting it close to “90s music”, but a) Collective Soul reads 90s music and b) this has to be the greatest album ever produced, sung and played. I chose “Heavy” because of the vocals – Ed, the lead singer, distorted his voice in the chorus – and the instruments, because hot damn, the rhythm guitar, bass and drums are just so fantastic in this~

Hold me up to all whom you’ve deceived
Promises you break you still believe

Push by Matchbox 20 (Yourself or Someone Like You; 1996)

A sad song, I admit, but it’s Matchbox Twenty; M20 can’t really go wrong! I kind of look at Push as a window into (some) men’s souls; most songs out there are about men and their dirty ways, so I find it nice to see a song about both partners being in the wrong.

Don’t just stand there, say nice things to me
I’ve been cheated I’ve been wronged, and you…
You don’t know me, I can’t change
I won’t do anything at all

Plush by Stone Temple Pilots (Core; 1992)

I was going to go for Sex Type Thing (which may or may not have been again), but Sex Type Thing pushed the envelope of “90s music”, and Plush had such a rock sound to it. Plush’s lyrics were inspired by both a past relationship of Scott’s, the leader lyricist and singer, and by a murder at that time.

And I feel that time’s a wasted go
So where ya going till tomorrow?
And I see that these are lies to come
So would you even care?

Also: YAY FOR THEM GETTING BACK TOGETHER! 8D I AM SO EXCITE, OMG!

And that’s it! :D You can find them at the « usual place!

1. « I haven’t given up on my “Artist Collection” bit, I just want to keep things interesting (mostly for me) and less boring.

Reading… Bleach!

I bought volume… 26, along with the character book and artbook (the latter two of which were brand new), something I regret not doing sooner. I knew about 99% of what was in the character book, but I loved re-reading about everything, and seeing the different profiles and assessments. Other honourable reads: “Demon from the Dark” by Kresey Cole – the author keeps getting better and better and I hate it – and “The Vampire’s Bride” by Gena Showalter; that one isn’t new, but it’s still such a great read. /floats

Listening… to Milla Jovovich. Insert slapped palms to face, loud gasps and prolonged staring here. While I have a wide range of interests in music, I usually don’t listen to new things, or things that are… erm, hippie-ish, for lack of a better word. I’ve had her album + other work for eons, and only listened to some things here and there. So far I love “Gentleman Who Fell”, “It’s Your Life” and “Ruby Lane” – and of course “Mezinka”, because despite my dislike for Dummy, the movie is ridic cute, and the song ten times more so. It’s just… not the kind of music I listen to, but I’m still listening to it! *confused*

Coding… nothing in relation to Listing Admin », something I felt was needed in order to remain the peace (I talk to my scripts, and he does not like me right now). I did manage to write up a to-do list script, finished my beta testing script for reporting bugs, and added in some mods for Listing Admin. There is no Tess without code~

Excited… for the fall TV line-up to start! Sons of Anarchy is starting off the celebration, with Merlin following lead, hey-ho!

Making… random to-do lists, which kind of explains the script above. (It was an impulse script, OK?!)

Admiring… everyone’s » ability » to keep » blogging », even during summer, the boring of the boring months. The end.

Watching… Criminal Minds – I’m a junkie; it’s the new Supernatural, where I know about 99% of the episodes summaries and titles – and random movies here and there. August is a boring month all around.

Cooking… nothing. :( This upsets me, and I promise to dazzle you all with a cherry pie next time. 8D (Yes, yes I am bribing you.)

Taking a Photo Of… the sister’s dog, Cassie!

I know, something that isn’t a reptilian, feline, or something green! Our dogs are quite old – Cassie will turn 10 on November 10^th, and Baby will turn 12 on November 14^th – crotchety, and a tiny bit spastic, as it took me 20+ shots to get this semi-decent one of Cassie.

Playing… Muse – Starlight », from their Black Holes & Revelations album. I know most fans look at this as one of more “meh” songs off the album, and a bit overrated, but I just love it. Matthew’s voice goes so well with the music. *stars in eyes*

Remodelling… my room! I also happened to break my canopy in the process, so I shall stamp a “To Be Continued…” on this section, and hope none of you think I have it out for my annoying canopy.

Writing… about a character, one that I hold very, very close to my heart (but not close to my boobs, so it’s a female). I was writing rough, rough, rough drafts of vampire!Merlin fanfiction – and therefore sending it off to Christina » to get input, spazzing and mostly spazzing – before ditching it mid-month when my muse took a very unwanted vacation.

(It should be noted that I while I did not go a “Just a Minute…” entry without mentioning Christina », I have not mentioned, talked about, or displayed a picture of Nay-Nay. Except for maybe just now. But still! As my partner for better or scratches, that’s saying something, right?)