Doctor! Doctor!
I felt like using that title because it's actually a song by The Blood Brothers », and you know me1, if there's a reference to be made, it will be had.
But I'm not here to talk about The Blood Brothers, or how awesome they are, or how I cried at the news of their break-up, but in relation to this entry » by Rachel » about a doctor who played around with his bushy eyebrows, and repeated the process a million, billion times. So, I didn't feel sorry for her like the commenters clearly did, and I just LOL'd SO HARD I almost had a cramp in my side. Which, if I were the superstitious type, I'd think that today's events were Karma LOL'ing at me and biting me in the ass, as the saying goes.
So along with the Dad and the sister, I had an eye doctor's appointment this morning, and I was the last to go. I go through the whole shebang with the Halle Berry-esque nurse, and the Doctor comes into my room first. From there, the nurse decided she would have this conversation rather loudly in the hallway outside my room:
Nurse: She's just been dilated, you don't need to see her first.
Doctor: Oh, she is? So, the other two are dilated.
Nurse: Yes, both of them are fully dilated, I just dilated her. You need to see them.
Doctor: OK, I'll go see them since they're both fully dilated.
So, after feeling like a fat pregnant lady–and feeling like the Dad and sister were pregnant as well, as they were talking about them–I was then told to wait “just a moment”, a moment that I am convinced turned into an hour. During that hour, I stared down a headpiece I swear came from The Silence of the Lambs2, and chastised my nurse internally at leaving a unlocked computer in the hands of hacker in the guise of a developer–but that's neither here nor there, and for a different entry entirely. I eventually did see my eye Doctor, where I would have convinced myself he was gay by his elegant and wide hand gestures and the way he consistently crossed his legs–except, well, my late Uncle had ravishing hand motions while being utterly3 straight and he did happen to be wearing a wedding ring.
Of course, this in no way means I think my Doctor can't be gay because he wears a wedding ring, or that I wrongly accuse others of being gay to myself–I'm just suggesting, in the future, that perhaps doctors should think about using terms such as “dilated” and the situations that surround them, as the sister and Dad got a kick out of hearing that they were pregnant, too. For the less than sarcastic variety, yes, they heard it from their rooms, too–and yes, we did laugh hysterically in the car on the way back.
- « And if you don't, you certainly should.
- « A headpiece he actually ended up wearing! Cue in the frantic heartbeat of trying to stuff down my laughter.
- « I use “utterly” because most of us still think he was in the closet.
Posted: January 29, 2010
Listed Under: Random, Real Life
Tags: doctors, humourous, real life
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Christina
January 29, 2010 · Permalink
*rotfl* Also, you have just proven my theory about you, you gay stereotypical motha fucka. *stabs* It's funny, because all the guys I know, that are gay, don't have the wide elegant gestures and cross their legs. They are slobs, lazy, sit with their legs wide open and general act like general boys/men. LMAO. Oh you! The straight dudes, on the other hand, always fixing themselves, oh so elegant at times, take 3 hours in the bathroom....*snorts* They call themselves metrosexuals. Right.
Tess »
January 29, 2010 · Permalink
Aha, as I told you, I don't generally stereotype a dude - I do it when it's, you know, glaringly obvious, like say he's all "dude, this guy I saw on the street was SO FUCKING HOT" (that's actually a direct quote from the Uncle). I just like to poke fun at stereotyping, as you well know. :P
But yes, straight dudes spend 10+ hours in front of the mirror. The only guy I've seen who hasn't done this is my Dad, but...well, I'd be lying if I said he's only touched a woman.
Christina
January 29, 2010 · Permalink
I don't knooowww, I've seen straight dude's talk about another guys good looks. ;) And gay guys being all 0.o about other guys looks.
But yes, I Know you were poking fun. *g* :p
Dude, my brother: 3 fucking hours in the bathroom! OMFG, I fucking swear, and he's only 16! It's kinda a relief he's not here that much anymore.
Alice »
January 30, 2010 · Permalink
Eeww that eyebrow thing is weird, funny too, but weird. I'd have stared at that intensely too, and noticeably so haha.
lol if someone left me for an hour I'd be nosing all around that room as punishment for their stupidity. I commend your restraint.
Melissa »
February 6, 2010 · Permalink
I love your writing :) and I also hate waiting rooms
Diana »
February 9, 2010 · Permalink
Omggg, I love The Blood Brothers! Gg!
Waiting rooms are the worst. They always turn into an hour or more :( My doctor makes appointments, but I don't think she actually regards them. I showed up once for an appointment, and there was a sign that said "Closed every Friday afternoon." And the sign said something about that being policy. As of 2003. So, yeah.
I feel I should tell you your link to commenting guidelines is on localhost.
Tess »
February 22, 2010 · Permalink
@Christina: LOOOOL, my Uncle is the same damn way, but since he's ~fabulous~, it's warranted. ;) I can't personally fathom it!
@Alice: I commend it too, because my eyes were watering at the tension, and me NEEDING to nose around.
@Melissa: *smooch* Really? I always get to flustered trying to find a medium between my mind and a blog. I like that you like it! :D
@Diana: YOU ARE MY HERO. ...Don't get my started, I'll never stop. Yes, the same eye doctor wouldn't let my Mom in for an appointment, because they don't like doing families, even though we had passed the two-year contract. Fuckers. D:
And thank you for letting me know! I knew that, but I'm being lazy. :P Should be fixing that soon, I fail.